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Best Secret Dating Sites & Apps in 2023

If you want to meet people for casual or serious relationships, an online dating app is the best choice for you: meeting people through dating apps is convenient, affordable, and much less time-consuming than meeting them offline. There are lots ...
Best Secret Dating Sites & Apps in 2023
by Joshua Harrington
Last updated: August 29, 2023
8 minutes read
Home » Best Dating Sites » Secret Dating Sites
Page Contents
  1. Top 4 secret dating sites & apps
    1. Secret Benefits
    2. Ashley Madison
    3. AdultFriendFinder
    4. OurSecret
  2. Bonus: The best secret messaging apps to stay anonymous while dating
    1. Wickr me
    2. Calculator Pro+
    3. NetSfere Secure Messaging
  3. Final thoughts and recommendations
  4. FAQ

If you want to meet people for casual or serious relationships, an online dating app is the best choice for you: meeting people through dating apps is convenient, affordable, and much less time-consuming than meeting them offline. There are lots of dating apps for Android and iOS devices, there are a lot of extremely popular apps with a large dating pool, and they are typically either free or cost around $20-$100 per month.

But what if you want not just to meet new people but to keep it secret from someone else?

Then, you need secret/hidden dating apps. Here, you’ll find the top list of the best secret dating apps tested and analyzed by our expert team. We analyzed every possible factor, from safety and security to the number of messaging tools and profile quality!

Top 4 secret dating sites & apps

Rank Site Free Link  
#1 Secret Benefits
 Logo
#2 AshleyMadison
 Logo
#3 AdultFriendFinder
 Logo
#4 OurSecret
 Logo

1. Secret Benefits

BEST FOR:
Those searching for a trusted dating app for casual relationships
FEATURES WE LIKED:
Convenient live chat feature, detailed profiles, detailed search
OUR EXPERTS SAY:

Secret Benefits is a popular and trusted dating platform for people who are interested in casual and NSA relationships. There’s a video verification feature here, and lots of profiles are verified. The response rate on the site is very high, and most profiles are quite detailed.

More Information
 LogoSecret Benefits
Gender ratio:
58%
42%
Visits/Month:
400K

Key takeaways:

  • Not a free app: the app is free to download, but all the messaging tools are fee-based
  • A convenient credit system for those who want to see how much they spend and control it
  • Secret photos and videos are available to premium users only
Secret Benefits.

Why did we choose it?

Secret Benefits was created in 2014, so it’s not a new dating app—9 years is quite a lot in the online dating industry. This is one of the most popular secret dating apps right now (14,000,000 monthly visits), and it’s also one of the most trusted and reputable ones. SecretBenefits has 4.1 stars on Sitejabber and 4.4/5 on Trustpilot, independent review platforms. Such a high rating is easy to explain: the profiles on the site are very detailed, the response rate is high, and this site actually works well for those interested in casual encounters and one-night stands.

Features we liked:

  • Profile highlighting (available for premium users only)
  • Detailed search filters (available for free)
  • Profile hiding: perfect if you don’t want other users to see you visited their profile pages
  • Priority support for verified and premium users

2. Ashley Madison

BEST FOR:
Those searching for a high-quality secret dating app with millions of users
FEATURES WE LIKED:
Virtual gifts, favorites lists, a convenient live chat tool, Discreet Photo
OUR EXPERTS SAY:

Ashley Madison is one of the most well-known and popular dating apps in the world. This app is free to sign up, and it offers a lot of free features, but if you’re going to communicate with other users, you’ll have to buy credits.

More Information
 LogoAshleyMadison
Gender ratio:
57%
43%
Visits/Month:
800K

Key takeaways:

  • A smooth and well-optimized mobile app
  • Created in 2001—one of the oldest casual dating apps in today’s world
  • A lot of free search tools allow users to find potential matches according to their dating preferences
Ashley Madison.

Why did we choose it?

AM is one of those names that come to mind first when one thinks of secret romance, casual dating, and affair apps. This dating app has a lot of free services: if you have 0 credits, you can browse other profiles, like them, use all the search tools, and send winks. Once you purchase credits, you will be able to boost your profile, send messages, and even send virtual gifts. There are a lot of interesting premium tools here: thus, you can get your profile highlighted in search results or send Priority Mails, which will be highlighted, too.

Features we liked:

  • A mobile app is available for both Android and iOS devices
  • A huge dating pool with millions of women and men searching for a real-life casual relationship
  • The live chat is very convenient and easy to use
  • Two-factor authentication and an updated security program
  • You can change the icon of the app if you don’t want other people to know you’re using AM

3. AdultFriendFinder

BEST FOR:
Those who want to find one of the most popular dating apps around the world
FEATURES WE LIKED:
Advanced search, profile videos, live streams
OUR EXPERTS SAY:

Adult Friend Finder is one of the best secret dating apps regarding the number of messaging tools and premium features. It’s not only about live chat here: you can also watch streams of other users and their profile videos, it’s possible to share videos and photos with other members, and there are lots of chat groups and rooms for those who want to discuss a particular topic.

More Information
 LogoAdultFriendFinder
Gender ratio:
35%
65%
Visits/Month:
62.4M

Key takeaways:

  • The oldest app on this list (created in 1997)
  • Convenient groups for like-minded singles
  • The “Flirt” feature: you can show someone that you’re interested without actually sending them a message
AdultFriendFinder.

Why did we choose it?

With 43 million monthly visits, Adult Friend Finder (AFF) is probably the most well-known app for adult dating and casual relationships. This app has several interesting features—like, you can see who liked or viewed your profile, watch live streams of other users, enjoy Sex Academy videos, etc. All these things are only available for premium users, of course: free members can only send likes, watch profile videos, and browse profiles here. The absolute majority of users are into casual/NSA relationships, most users are male, and most women here are in their 20s and early 30s (most men are more mature, in their 30s and 40s).

Features we liked:

  • A great mobile app (but it’s only available for Android devices)
  • Sex Academy with dozens of useful and quite interesting videos
  • Contest: you can compete with other users—the winner is the person who gets more likes
  • Diversity: almost all the legal kinks are covered on this site, so you’ll find like-minded people even if you want something special
  • “Hot or Not”: a roulette-type game for finding more matches

4. OurSecret

BEST FOR:
Those searching for a good secret dating app with a credit system and very detailed profiles
FEATURES WE LIKED:
Search tools, professional customer support, video verification
OUR EXPERTS SAY:

If you want to meet local singles for a casual relationship, OurSecret may be the right choice for you. It’s a modern-looking dating service with a lot of verified profiles, a high response rate, and many premium tools.

More Information
 LogoOurSecret
Gender ratio:
44%
56%
Visits/Month:
201.4K

Key takeaways:

  • A lot of search filters (from a location-based filter to body type, height, etc.)
  • It’s completely free to sign up and use the search feature, but communication tools are fee-based
  • A very old dating service established in 2004
OurSecret.

Why did we choose it?

OurSecret is another good dating app. It doesn’t have any free messaging tools, so if you have a basic account, you can only browse other profiles—if you want to chat, you need to buy credits. You can search for people who are in the same location here (all the search filters are free to use). Unlike some other secret hookup sites, OurSecret has a very high response rate and a lot of detailed profiles, that’s what makes it stand out from the crowd, and that’s the #1 reason why you need to try it.

Features we liked:

  • Secret albums
  • A low number of fake profiles (most accounts are verified by video)
  • The profiles are quite detailed, especially female profiles
  • There are a lot of additional information people provide about themselves, from yearly income and interests to body type and tattoos
  • A convenient messaging tool (the users can send messages and exchange photos/videos)

Bonus: The best secret messaging apps to stay anonymous while dating

Secret dating sites.

Want to chat with other people anonymously? Here are the three apps that don’t fall into the “dating app” category but can help you chat without any risks.

#1. Wickr me

Wickr Me is a private messenger with end-to-end encryption for both messages and files you send—this means that even if the file or the message is somehow stolen during transmission, it’s impossible to view or read it because it’s encrypted. With end-to-end encryption, no third party can access data while it’s transferred from your smartphone to the smartphone of your interlocutor. The only problem with Wickr is that if you haven’t created an account in 2022, you will not be able to sign up. The app will be discontinued on December 31, 2023, and they haven’t accepted new users since December 31, 2022.

#2. Calculator Pro+

This app looks like a calculator and works like a calculator, but that’s not all. This calculator can actually hide your private conversations—you can add any contact to the app, and after that, any new message from this contact will not show up in your Messages. To open a message from a private contact, you’ll need to open this app first. You can chat within the app, filter and block spam messages, and exchange multimedia files. The app is available in Google Play Market and in the App Store.

#3. NetSfere Secure Messaging

NetSfere Secure Messaging protects your messages with a 256-bit security algorithm and device-to-device encryption. In short, this means that if you’re not the CIA’s top priority, no one will decrypt your messages. The app is available on both iOS and Android smartphones, but it’s important to understand that it’s an enterprise messaging app, not a consumer messaging app—it was designed to secure communication for businesses, not for people who want to chat with their lovers.

Final thoughts and recommendations

Joshua Harrington
Joshua Harrington
Author

“The very idea of secret dating sites is good—if people want privacy, security, and anonymity, there must be tools to help them get what they want. The problem is that the very concept of an anonymous dating app doesn’t make a lot of sense. In fact, only Ashley Madison offers an interesting security feature—on this site, you can change both the app icon and the notification style. Other dating apps on the list are basically just dating apps: good and popular ones, yes, but they do not offer anything “secret.”

The thing is, you can make any dating app secret and anonymous yourself. Sign up using a fake email, use a fake mobile phone number if needed, enter a fake name, and upload a profile picture without showing a face. After that, hide the app using settings or a second space (Android). There it is—now you can use any dating app anonymously, and it won’t appear on the home screen.“

“The very idea of secret dating sites is good—if people want privacy, security, and anonymity, there must be tools to help them get what they want. The problem is that the very concept of an anonymous dating app doesn’t make a lot of sense. In fact, only Ashley Madison offers an interesting security feature—on this site, you can change both the app icon and the notification style. Other dating apps on the list are basically just dating apps: good and popular ones, yes, but they do not offer anything “secret.”

The thing is, you can make any dating app secret and anonymous yourself. Sign up using a fake email, use a fake mobile phone number if needed, enter a fake name, and upload a profile picture without showing a face. After that, hide the app using settings or a second space (Android). There it is—now you can use any dating app anonymously, and it won’t appear on the home screen.“

FAQ

Why do people use secret dating apps?

In our experience, people use secret dating apps when they don’t want other people to know about their online dating interactions. Some want to have an affair and don’t want to get caught by their spouse, the others want to enjoy dating and don’t want to get caught by parents who control their phones, etc.

How do I know if my loved one uses a secret dating app?

It depends on the secret dating site they are using. Ashley Madison, for instance, allows you to change the app icon, so it’s very difficult to spot it (you’ll need to check every app on the phone). Other dating apps don’t offer such a feature, but any app can be hidden—you’ll have to check the hidden folders (on iPhones) and both hidden folders and second space (on Android smartphones).

Can you join a dating site anonymously?

Yes. It’s not only about secret hookup apps, actually—almost every popular dating app can be anonymous if you want it. Just create a second email address, enter a fake name, upload fake photos or pictures without a face, and do not verify your identity or mobile phone number. Once it’s done, your fake account will be almost impossible to connect to you.

Can you be anonymous on dating sites?

Yes. For this, you should register from a new email address and not enter your real name. In addition, most sites allow men not to pass verification and don’t oblige them to use a photo. Therefore, everything depends only on you.

Joshua Harrington
Joshua Harrington
Author
Meet Joshua Harrington—an author who knows everything (or almost everything) about online dating. He also creates the fullest and the most comprehensive reviews of online dating sites, and we highly recommend checking them out!
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